HERE I AM WITH MY M.E.

Let´s go.

Okay, I'm Cuca, I am part of the gatufos group, I do not think of anything to say you, sorry.

My life is very scheduled in relation to my leisure activities and necessary to scroll through the days.

My normal activity stood about fifteen years ago, I was diagnosed with a disease that has no cure, multiple sclerosis, and I thought I would not last long time in this world. This has not happened, I was stopping my activities as a"normal person" who takes care of almost everything, look after emi, my daughters, house, shopping, pick up the phone, to receive friends, to go out and search medicines, to put joy and activity in the house, another house where we lived before, in order TO LIVE ON DESPITE THIS DISEASE.

I am and always have been an active, vital person which is acustomed to never ask for anything if I can do it, and being too quiet and never stopped.

This condition hit me in my true personality because I had to stay still, sitting for hours every day, it takes me an eternity to get up and go to the bathroom, and evil is what I have to constantly ask help for this or that. Although emi tells me, in his way of saying things "I would not ask drowning help so as not to disturb", as it looks like it's worth, I think I'm asking ever for too much.

Spent a year, another, another and I had to organize my life of leisure required. Complete 24 hours a day of activity without barely move. It's hard, you have to give much mind to make a program. I did it and take it down to the letter just till now.

Yeah, I'm scheduled to go spending hours, days, months, years and live aim of making the best possible times, not embitter my life, not life miserable for those who love you, ask as little as possible, do not complain nearly for nothing , trying to fix my life needs no help, do my physical and mental exercises every day of the year without missing one.
For that I developed and memorized a program for each day of the month, every hour of the day and even every hour of the night when I'm in bed and can not sleep. Ja, ja, yes I use to tell me my stories to be alert and not thinking about my life or my health condition.

And it works, it comes complete running almost thirteen years, who would say, no one knows if I am, badly or worse, if it hurts more than the usual discomfort that continues. Stop do not think, live every second plan and not think about achieving the next hour or the next day and fewer still will, we will do next month.
The future does not exist for me. Live today, now, this moment, and so I try to be happy in spite of this disease that is slowly getting worse.

I don´t need to go out, for what?, I do not need to be out home. It can take months and months without my chair rolling on sidewalks and so emi and Isabel do not have to push it.
I'm fine at home and not craved any change in my routine, this routine keeps me safe and kept safe the people I love in Gatufolandia.
To me the most important subject it is my loved one, Emiliano and my daughters. Don´t give them any thing to be worried about, but it is difficult. Emi is always alert watching me, trying to see what I nedd and asking every moment if I am good or not.
What can I do to reléase him?. Even to reléase Isabel?.
With my daughters there is not any problema as they use not to come here and see me. I do think that they suffer a lot seeing their mother in this condition and that´s the reason the two younger not come home for months or years.
Yes, I may understan them, but emi doesn´t I know that and it gives me some hurt to see him suffering this role.

Well that´s all for the moment, it is clear to me that  activities help me NOT TO THINK, HELP ME TO LIVE EVERY DAY, HAVING MY MIND ON OTHER SUBJECT HELPE ME TO FIND PEACE.

Greetings, cuca

*****

Ya, has finally released to write a little more than I thought and that's fine.
Any other day we will know a little more of what SHE does or thinks about this gatufa, will have to catch her in a good position because I said she is really shy and does not like to share anything with people she does not know.
Congratulations cuca, you speak well and clear.